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Ways To Annoy Your Republican Relatives On Thanksgiving

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Ways To Annoy Your Republican Relatives On Thanksgiving

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1. When they greet you, "How are you doing, honey?" say, "Oh, I'm doing fabulous! Better than I've been all year! Ever since Barack Obama got re-elected, I've been in a constant state of bliss!

2. If they have everyone go around the table and say what they are thankful for, say, "I'm SO thankful that Obama won, because he will continue to make this country a better place by taxing the rich even more and giving women free birth control and giving all of us Obamacare and making gay marriage legal in all 50 states...." Go on and on, naming all the things that the Republicans don't want Obama to do. When you are unable to name any more, make stuff up, i.e., "and he'll make candy bars become nutritious and he'll cure my hemmoroids and he'll make this year's season of Glee not suck so bad and he'll make my house clean itself automatically..." The more ridiculous, the better! Keep going until you are forced to stop.

3. At dinner, refer to the turkey as "Mitt Romney." Say "Could you please pass the Mitt Romney...I mean turkey. Turkey! Get it, because Mitt Romney is a turkey!"

4. When there is a break in the conversation, say, "I just LOVE Barack Obama! I think he's the best president ever! In fact, if I were to have a baby, I'd want Barack Obama to be the father!"

5. Set your watch or phone to chime at random times throughout the day. Each time it does, pump your fist in the air and chant, "FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!"

6.. At that moment after dinner, when everyone is exhausted from eating too much turkey and is just collapsing on the couch, loudly announce, "At this moment, I am going to peform a dramatic re-enactment of how I responded when I found out that Obama won." Sit up straight, put your hands over your mouth, gasp, and say, "274? OMG that means Obama won!" Jump up out of your seat, exclaim, "Obama WON!" Jump up and down, and scream, "OBAMA WON! OBAMA WON! WHOO HOO!" Kneel down and say, "Thank you, God! Obama won!" Get up, and start dancing, and chant, "O to the B to the AMA! O to the B to AMA! O-BAMA! O-BAMA! Hey hey, O-BAMA!" Hug all of your relatives, especially the Republican ones.

7. While watching the football game, say, "It looks like (name of team) is going to be the LO-SER, just like Mitt Romney!"

8. If, at any point, Obama comes on TV, stand up, say, "That's my PRESIDENT!" applaud, and sing "Hail To The Chief."

9. While having dessert, say, "This apple pie is delicious- just like the SWEET victory of Obama over Romney!"

10. At the end of the meal, groan, put your hands on your belly, and say, "I ate like a pig- just like Romney, because he's a pig!"
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